Christmas at Church.

      Firstly, let's look on the bright side and count our blessings. Number one: we got there and back safely. Number Two: last night we raised shed loads of money (£132) and collected trolleyfuls  of food.  All of which will be donated to Nuneaton Food Bank. Some poor soul who doesn't share The Bullingdon Boys mantra of “we're all in this together” will hopefully now have a better Christmas  as a result of that. We would have collected even more food if everyone had read their Facebook messages beforehand! We had a huge turnout, which was SO commendable given the conditions. There were plenty of laughs-some rehearsed some not.

     Our set was enjoyable to play and judging by the audience reaction, they had a great time, too. The chorus singing was epic: the participation immense. The bar seemed to be doing a roaring trade and the car park was full, if a little like Lake Ontario at times. Church End Brewery, one of my favourites ( I have their t-shirt), did Black Parrot Seaside the honour of naming a beer after us. Sadly, as I was driving, I stayed on  soft drinks and bottled water. Anyway, here it is. Good times.  Manly hugs to whoever was responsible. And thanks for presenting me with the Pump Clip afterwards!

       Even getting to windy, rain-lashed, isolated Ridge Lane last night took a Superhuman effort. In broad daylight it is a pleasant spot, high up in the Nuneaton Fells, with picnic tables affording panoramic views over North Warwickshire. In the dark, with an approach through woods that wouldn't disgrace the film set of Mordor, it was intimidating. Later, as the refugees trickled in, I heard of acts of real heroism out on the road. Like the newly qualified novice driver who, on arriving at Wood Farm Brewery Tap, many miles away in Leicestershire, reset the satnav and ploughed on. In foul weather, she drove her car and her passengers back up the A5 and through the Nuneaton Everglades. Well done, Kathy. Like those who worked late, snatched a bite to eat and came from Coventry, Bulkington, Beduff and Burbage to cheer us on. Well done for even getting there.
     Yes, last night, "even getting there"  in itself was challenging. Let alone setting up, getting the sound right, marshalling floor spot performers and (unsuccessfully) attempting to get all those who wanted to, herded into the back room for the AFC Christmas party. I arrived early in a well-intentioned but entirely unsuccessful attempt to bring some semblance of order to the night's proceedings. As things turned out, we had at least three big introductions, only one of which was rehearsed. Or correct. Due to the furniture configuration, a few dozen Parroteers could not even get into the room for the first half. Including me. Hence my coat, my props, the food donations, the lavatory and my family were all scattered round different points of the building. My blood pressure readings at this point would have been interesting. And potentially fatal.
     I got soaked to the skin unloading gear-even though the journey from car to performance area was less than the length of the bar. The bags of props, novelties, food donations and costumes fought with the assembled ranks of instrumentation, giving performers (especially those of generous proportions), little room to manoeuvre. As members of the band continued to straggle in, they brought reports and rumours of the roads flooding. By the start, I was texting those who hadn't arrived to turn back. Ever the optimist, me!

       But we finally got on, beyond  tennish. Last night's Black Parrot Seaside line-up (above) was the usual three suspects, supplemented by Malc Gurnham on acoustic bass and David Parr on guitar. With a delightful debut on Concertina from John Meacham-the 26th musician to have guested with the ever-expanding BPS Collective.

     Having heard the way poor old Steve Beeson "died" first half, each time he manfully strove to read one of my carefully scripted news items, we dispensed with the “Last Week's Quiz “ stand-up items, and just ran through a pre-arranged set list.  We had successfully imported a large family group from the other room, and they ably assisted with distribution of items ensuring that audience participation was maximised. So much so that not all of it came back afterwards. Here's the set list:

The Odeon                        

All Over Now                     

The Bold Pirate

Lighten Up It's Christmas

Bring It On Home              

Here it is Merry Christmas 

At The Septic Monkey  
The Whistler 
The Santa Claus Express
Christmas Carols  and Songs Medley
What a Folking Liberty    
Albert Balls   

   " The Whistler" and "Santa Claus Express " were hilarious, thanks to an audience participation performance which would have had Gareth Malone weeping. "Septic Monkey " was another highlight, with our own rigged in house "Raffle" expertly co-ordinated from the floor by ex-PennyRoyal singer Fiona Coulson.  Disturbingly,some of the more horrible prizes were retained by audience members. I expect they'll feature in a Secret Santa somewhere, over the next few days?                                    

    Besides Resident House Band Finger Up The Khyber,  there were loads of floor singers first half and second half. John Meacham, Brian and Marie, Ian Bland, Dave Walker, Malc and Gill amongst them. But I couldn't see or hear much of it, as I became trapped in the other bar, and was unable to regain my strategic position front of house. I was however, able to assist Messrs Parr, Gurnham, Beeson and Benson (Solicitors?) in a memorable Club mix of Abba and Pinky and Perky. Yes I know it isn't folk. But who gives a Folk if people are enjoying themselves? 

    I've been to every AFC session so far. But Lordy, it was crowded in there last night! And hot. On each occasion, early attendees, few of whom I recognise,  rapidly invade the performing area, like patients colonising a Doctor's Waiting Room.  Once ensconced  there, a few nurse a half pint for hours and seem  reluctant to move. Except when the interval raffle is announced.  When the rush for the exits is palpable. We could do with a retired bus conductor in there to encourage responsible crowd control. Or perhaps install some Proms-style crush barriers. But in the absence of that, some serious table-re-arranging will be required if future punters are to be able to even gain access to concerts. Still: overcrowding and congestion: what  lovely (and rare) logistical problems for Folk Club Organisers and hosts to have to ponder, eh?