We
are one of only a few to have written a song about
Bedworth. Actually, the song is about Towns in Warwickshire, generally.
Bedworth is just the one featured in the title and the chorus:
On Bed'uth Bank the
grass is black:
a grand view of the Sunbrite Slack
If tha' stands on
top and tha' walks around,
tha' feet'll sink into the ground
The words are our own, and the
tune we employ is an adaptation of "Owdham Edge," by the Owdham Tinkers. The original song celebrates the beauty and fresh air of
a spot in Lancashire. Our version does the same with Warwickshire. But takes a slightly different
approach.
My dad lived in Bedworth for a while. My daughter still
does. The air has not always been fresh there. It had several
collieries. When I was a kid the slag heaps, winding gear and railway
yards of several pits were still visible.
The last colliery to
go was Keresley-later called Coventry Colliery. Not really in Bedworth, but it had a massive coke
and anthracite producing plant run by Sunbrite. You could see the
Sunbrite spoil tip and Gas plant from miles away. The Bank itself is
“The Black Bank” in Bedduth. .Bedworth Folk Club runs one of its
folk evenings at The Old Black Bank Public house. The grass is no
longer black. But if you dug down, after a little while, you'd
probably find the soil was!
The
CD version is relatively benign. So much so that local radio have
played it several times. The “live” version is racier, and in the
BPS comedy tradition, we lead our audience through many verses. Using wordplay we let
them form their own line endings and images. Here's a few
examples from the relatively clean and healthy section.
Foundry chimneys near
and far,
where the Leyland workers parked their cars
worked all day for me
and you, then drove home in their N.S.U.Straight up front there's Wyken Slough, M6 packed wi' tons of stuff
If tha' stands on highest van, tha' can see the smog of Birmingham
O'er to North Nuneaton Town- once lived a comedian of renown
Everard was his best friend's name,campanology was his game
Then we travel further afield. To Atherstone, for
starters. .
Atherstone,
has pubs and inns,
parking Signs and Wheelie Bins
This fine old town
once known for hats now seems full of three-toed ….....
Could
the missing word be "cats" in this instance? Or "bats"? Depends how often you've visited Atherstone. Things do annually go a bit strange there during the Annual Ball Game, when all the shop windows have to be boarded up. "Adderscum" , as some unkind Nuneatonians call it, is a border town, with Roman roots. It is on the A5, heading out towards the Bandit Country of Staffordshire.
Near neighbours North are Tamworth, and east, Nuneaton. There
is, to put it mildly, a bit of a love-hate thing going on between the
three towns. I've been on the receiving end of some of it, attending
football matches. In fact, the first non-League football
game I ever saw was at Atherstone Town's Sheepy Road ground in about 1964. I had
a friend called John Hicks, who played for "The Adders" then. It was a very new
experience for me by comparison with Football League matches I'd been to.
I've
been back to Atherstone loads of times since. I'm a keen gardener and it has
a Dobbies Garden centre nearby. It's the nearest town to the
wonderful Church End Brewery up in the Warwickshire Alps, behind the
town. My daughter in law works there, my sister lectures in Creative Writing there and my good friend Phil Benson
lives close to the town in an idyllic spot. I've sung many times in The Larder Cafe in Atherstone
High Street. Delicious food and a great military themed eatery. I've been to Toy and Train fairs there, and in our
conservatory is a lovely old pine armchair we recently bought from an antique
shop opposite the library. Like most towns, it has some scenic
places. And some not so scenic places. Some good pubs..and some
dodgy ones. Like most towns it has some friendly people, and some right nutters.
As the song progresses, no-one is spared from the sword:
Warwick
is our County seat where Councillors and bigwigs meet
The
Castle is a wondrous sight, although the moat is full of
*****Rugby Folk have lots of balls, oval ones as I recalls
Birthplace too, of Rupert Brooke,
and Chavs who think they're hard as********
At Stratford in The Olden Days,
Billy Shakespeare wrote some plays
Along the Avon pole the punts, full of tourists, silly *********
Get the idea? Some line endings are missing. If that's the case then one simply substitutes the most appropriate alternative of one's choice.
Leamington, once known for Spas Now is full of tapas Bars
In Jephson Gardens steal a kiss bedind the bogs that smell of *****
“AL-CEST-ER “ you must not say- it is pronounced a different way
“Ulster “ is the proper job, If you are a pretentious **************
Meriden is fairly dull, a rat run through to Solihull
I was born there- what a curse-the centre of the universe?
At Coleshill , stacked containers rise, 4 by 4 up to the skies
The Rivers Cole and Blythe converge-handy if you get the urge
“Kenilworth “ by Randolph Scott- (Perhaps Sir Walter?--I forgot)
Castle, Theatre, Water tower-see it all in half an hour
And
then finally,after our little Warwickshire tour....back to Beduff.
For the concluding verse- a return to the fact that the industrialised 'Beduff once had pits, mills and factories all of them belching out smoke and pollution:
They should come up here
from Switzerland
and have a gas mask in their hand
For Bed'uth air let me
tell thee, beats alcohol and LSD.
The
only complaints we receive are about omissions. The Coleshill and
Leamington verses for example, were later additions, requested by
audience members. Folkies from Barwell, Hinckley and Earl Shilton
have also asked for the inclusion of their towns, but of course they
are not in Warwickshire. Tamworth actually was long ago, and
look out Shipston, Knowle, Balsall Common and Southam. You just never know...
