Wednesday, 20 December 2017

Hey! It smells like Christmas!

Hey! It Smells Like Christmas!

What’s that smear on Grandad’s shirt? What’s that stain on Grandma’s skirt?
What’s that steaming in the dirt?
Hey! It smells like Christmas!
Lots of cheerful festive booze, fighting in the shopping queues
Just disasters on the news
Hey! it smells like Christmas
Pine trees oozing pungent sap, Polar bears and penguin crap
Fido drinking from the tap
Hey! it smells like Christmas
Easter Eggs and Winter Sales, got a waistband like two whales
Body Odour, armpits stale
Hey! they smell like Christmas.

Where’s it come from? That’s the question,Flatulence and Indigestion
Christmas Trees and Christmas Bells,Lots of awful Christmas smells
Hey! It smells like Christmas!

Cinammon and Tangerines, Brussel sprouts and Christmas greens
Vampires on The Multiscreens
Hey! It smells like Christmas!
Same old rubbish on t.v.  Ants inside the Christmas tree
Rudolf Is that.... Reindeer wee?
(Hay? )... it smells like Christmas!
Pounding pavements, stinking feet, socks that whiff of rotting meat
Wheelie bins are full for weeks
Yuccch! They smell like Christmas!
Bird Flu, Plague and flies abound, Slush lies melting on the ground
Unwanted dogs and cats are drowned
Just because it's Christmas
Santa Claus has foetid breath, The News is full of war and death
My neighbour's Brewing Crystal Meth
Hey! it smells of Christmas!
The motorways and railways jam, my mailbox fills with dirty spam
Everyone hates Uncle Sam
It's definitely Christmas
Flu transmitted by the birds, carols full of empty words
Pavements cluttered with dog turds
Really smells like Christmas
Insurgents play with guns and swords, Norovirus shuts the Wards
The Malls are full of sweating hordes

-It must be Boxing Day!