Coventry Singer Songwriter Competition 2018

      This fun competition,organised by Jon Harrington,lasted over possibly more months than originally intended. It finally came to a heady conclusion last Friday night when the winners were announced and all those who took part were awarded prizes. All of which had (a very tenuous) nautical or maritime theme. 

CSS spiritual leader Jon Harrington

    Coming a close second only to Eurovision in terms of tension,expense and excitement, the Awards Ceremony took part at John Neal's sumptuous Manor House in Nuneaton. Things had  got particularly exciting even before we started, as I appeared to scrape my car all along the gateway turning in to the long winding drive leading up to Neal Towers. Although it sounded as if I had run over an armoured rhinoceros, I was greatly relieved to find out later that all the scratches were only crushed Privet. Or Box. Or whatever. Anyway-they all rubbed off with a bit of T-Cut afterwards. 

The Higham Lane Nightingale,John Neal.

      Myself and Malc Gurnham (Bedworth Folk Club) had been invited to judge and help present prizes. Though we were honoured,by this accolade it proved to be a challenging task. We assessed the full entry (15 songs) independently at first,then shared each others' results before aggregating our separate scores to one total, putting the songs in sequence. We were both delighted and relieved to find that,when we compared notes we had independently both put what we thought were the top 5 in identical order. 

       As a songwriter myself with (ahem!) a dozen or so published, I know fully the care and attention which goes into writing a song. Any song. Especially so when they are written to order-(or to a theme,anyway). Some entrants stuck to the theme very literally, others tinkered with things a little and Bill Bates just blatantly cheated by writing an anthem of praise aimed specifically at the two judges. One or two entrants went into full Phil Spector production mode, whilst a few others appeared to have stripped things right down to basics and recorded their entry on a Nokia mobile in their lavatory. 

       On the night,once the girls in feather boas had finished their dance routines and the orchestra had settled down, as the audience nibbled a shortcake, the awards began. Having spent an awful lot of time combing the Charity Shops and Pound Shops of Nuneaton for appropriate prizes, I was disappointed to discover that not everyone had taken this seriously enough to turn up. Nonetheless,  we announced the results (uniquely) by starting with the Top Five.

Not John's Lounge. But Malc and Geoff duetting elsewhere.

      In fifth place was a brooding and very original song "Down In The Dark," written and performed by Sally-Ann Veasey. (Only very distantly related and then only by marriage thrice removed). I had looked everywhere in Poundland for a rubber ring because her song was about swimming pools. In the end, Sally-Ann's prize was a set of Pirate Stickers as we thought her song was daylight robbery. Fourth was David Ellis with his big big production which was so Wagnerian we could only award him a practically intact CD of "The Flying Dutchman."   In third place,only because it made us both laugh so much,was Bill Bates and his homage to bribery.  Anyone wanting to hear it, it will be played on "Anker Folk" on Anker Radio on November 5th and again the next day.  His prize was a roll of bin liners because his whole approach was well..rubbish.

Bill was green with envy at being pipped for top spot.

        The Top Two had already been spun on the wireless. Just pipping Katherine Fear (who came second), was Jane Moss. "The Turn of The Tide" was a clever piece of work by Jane, more about life changes than a nautical almanac. Her winner's trophy of a "Mermaid's Have More Fun" -embossed mug was richly deserved. Katherine won a Mermaid-themed drinking cup for her runner-up song,"The Tide Will Turn." This was another polished thoughtful song enhanced by a simple musical arrangement. Certificates and a small trophy presented by Jon Harrington went to the two ladies (women?) (girls?) for their stirring efforts. 

        By this time,having realised that they had not made the Top Five  a few lips around the room were quivering. So by prior arrangement and with the full blessing of Mesdames Neal and Harrington, proceedings were halted and the tension broken,by a performance of one of my oft-covered (once!) songs. Just to show everyone (as it were) how the craft of songwriting is properly executed at a very high professional level,"The Odeon" from the album "Ain't It Grand?" saw the debut of a new North Warwickshire Power duo. And I only forgot the words once. 

        Having recovered from that, we decided wisely to award the rest of the prizes in Reverse alphabetical order only. Bob Wilkinson received a copy of "Notes From The Boat" by Mike Vass. Graham Weston will be sent a dustpan and brush to commemorate the title of his song "Swept Away."  Vivian Richardson's "At The Turning of The Tide" merited a copy of The Beatles "Yellow Submarine" as it gave us that sinking feeling.

       Geraldine Anne Pearson- Greene was commended for having the longest name and also won a bag of E-numbered sweets advertised as "Monster Brains"  Seemed appropriate given that we found the whole competition a bit creepy.   Al Neville was awarded a copy of Keane's "Under The Iron Sea" as we felt that was possibly the best place for his entry. Host John Neal won a teaspoon with a little ship on top as we thought his song was very stirring.  Paul Monks won a copy of an album by The Lighthouse Family for obvious reasons.

        Jon Harrington's interesting mixed gender approach won him two bags of Fishermen's Friends, as with a voice like that Jon, you need all the friends you can get. Cheryl Gibbons's song was an interesting mix so we felt her prize of fun-size bags of Shrimps and Bananas was an odd mix and at least half maritime. Finally, at the reverse end of alphabetical order, Mike Carter Jones was lucky enough to win two prizes:the Soundtrack to Ocean's Eleven and a large can of Sardines. This was no reflection on the quality of his entry-I had simply bought too many prizes. All unclaimed prizes will be handed on to Mr. Harrington who will undoubtedly distribute them at the next meeting of CSS.

       But we were not finished there. Oh dear me no. Malc and I performed a second original song and the Ship's Company sang along with "Di Di The Ice Cream Man." Before all present lapsed into singing their own songs in rotation until John Neal threw us out. Even Rick (who hadn't actually entered the competition) sang a few of his own compositions,emphasising just how wise he had been not to enter. I'm afraid the theme for the next meeting's song title was my fault-"The Charity Shop." I didn't expect anyone to vote for it but the silly bu**ers all did. I look forward to hearing the finished items. 

        The Awards Night ended with the same amount of adrenalin pumping as when we began.Going home,I got lost on the vast St Nicholas Park estate, making several unsuccessful attempts to escape before finally finding a route out of it.