Red Eyes and Redhills

   Followers of this Blog (both of them) may have noticed that there has not as yet been an account of the most recent Wednesday night at NFC. That will be addressed now. It was in fact, mostly a joyous occasion. Our attendances are slowly climbing back up-we had to get extra tables out!  Covid (though not gone) seems to be hitting people slightly less hard, confidence in live music is reviving  and the by now ubiquitous Church End Goats Milk was typically delicious. It was also lovely to see long time supporters like Kath and Ian Peretti, John B. Smith Geoff Hardy Wes and Linda , Jak Lynch and Max Wright fit, well and back with us. Below we see Guitar Whisperer Wes Hall  outlining his latest project to a captivated audience. All photos here are courtesy of John B. Smith. That's Ray Buckler lurking over by the facilities btw. 

     We had three bands: Nunc, The Willow & Tool Band and the magnificent Redhills. Plus Malc and Gill in tip top form . It should have been a night of celebration and mostly it was. For me personally however if was to be the last night of Nunc as a House Band. Most of them have turned out rain or shine to support the club and certainly since we left The Crown and moved to The Crew, they've added a quality to the evenings. There is no point picking publicly over the bones of the break up.  It's happened and we move on-along our separate paths. I'm sorry it happened. I enjoyed those good times we sometimes enjoyed whilst we were together. You'll see the four of them playing together under a different name somewhere soon. And of course they all have other issues and side projects which they are involved in so all will remain components of the local music scene. I thought the four of us played o.k for the last time as Nunc, given the circumstances. Below is an historic picture of Nunc on stage at NFC for the last time.  This photo just will NOT centre align. How spooky is that?   

                                                

      Nunc handed over, after kicking off the evening to Malc and Gill. They were in fine voice: as good as I've ever heard them, particularly the harmonies. Their choice of material was excellent and it was kind of them to include "Down By The Dockside Wall" a favourite of mine. This Shep Wooley song always gets an audience singing and remains an earworm for days afterwards. A special mention for Gill having the pluck and grit to climb the stairs and then get onto and off the stage without falling over. It doesn't look easy and I can tell you from offering her chivalrous assistance, it genuinely isn't. That girl has PLUCK. (And that's not Cockney Rhyming slang). Here JBS has captured them in a rare shot where they are not arguing. 

        The Willow and Tool Band had experienced their share of problems too. Pete Willow and Lolly had been poorly which had restricted rehearsals. It did not show however as they romped through a fine repertoire of eclectic material. Keith looks as if he is getting ready to do some Irish Dancing.

         You would have thought they'd never been away and they seldom stopped smiling. The only problem they seemed to have was getting Tool's mighty double bass from the Car park to the gig beforehand and back off stage afterwards. So nice to see a band up there on stage sharing responsibilities and having fun. They all took turns singing and playing. Here's Lolly, fluting. What a classy, sassy lady she is!

       Finally having The Redhills as our featured guests was one of those cancelled/rearranged things which all of us despaired of ever staging at times during the Pandemic. But due to patience and dogged determination, finally we got them all up there assembled on that mighty stage. A stage they filled: indeed they filled the auditorium too. Good to see a good electric band at NFC playing good electric folk. :drum kit: electric bass and lead: fiddle: acoustic guitars and all kinds of other bells gongs and whistles kept the audience on their toes. Literally at times, as people began DANCING! (I know!). The band  were also dancing on stage during certain times: their energy and enthusiasm was infectious. 

       Their arrangements were clever and well thought out. The exchanges between instruments were ingenious and skilfully executed: they are all clearly excellent musicians. Their two sets were a joyful demonstration of good folk music delivered with style and aplomb. Go and see them if you haven't already. Highly recommended.

         Thanks to the support acts, to John B. Smith and Max for a plethora of photographs and to sound techie Ross Tidmuss who certainly had his work cut out in the sound booth that night. Thanks to go also to Aaron behind the bar and to the rest of the Crew Staff especially Rich Burlingham. They combine to help us lots behind the scenes to ensure that quality Folk, Rock and Americana can be brought to you on each first Wednesday of every month.  Here is a candid JBS snap of Aron grabbing a portion of sushi during a lull. 

       In June, our featured guest upstairs at The Queens Hall is Benji Kirkpatrick. Famously, he's played with Bellowhead, Faustus  and Steeleye Span as well as being a virtuoso solo performer. Check out his videos on You Tube or on the NFC website.  With Bob Brooker Craig Sunderland and Yonderland (Paul Monks and Jane Moss) in the mix too, it's going to be one hell of a night. 

Laugh those troubles away

       A night on the town in the company of Keith Donnelly proved to be just the tonic in Nuneaton last night. In these troubled times of War, Poverty, Pandemic, Brexit, Climate Change, Shortages and the rest, sometimes you just have to gather communally together and be silly. Sometimes, doesn't the tv news and the tabloid melodrama seem more absurd than life itself? So it's good to have a (good!) beer, relax and sit back and laugh collectively at the little things. In that way perhaps only temporarily we can forget for a while about the ones we can do little to change.

   Keith Donnelly was just the man for the job. From his first entrance to his final encore he was excellent.  I wasn't the only one to have tears of laughter running down my cheeks several times last night. The personal highlight for me was his reprise of "Sub Conscious Cry for Attention."  This was a very early album track from the "Don't Make Me Laugh," CD. It is a very clever piece of musical satire. Brief, cruel and effective. I hold my hand up and confess: it was a personal request from me last night.  I have always found that song quintessentially  KD. Deadpan delivery. Clever lyrics, poking fun at singer songwriters. Hugely overstated vocally which only  makes it even more amusing. I could tell by the reaction of some of the audience that they  hadn't heard it before. They were soon in as much trouble as I was. 

    It was a memorable occasion in several ways. Flossy back on a stage singing with Nunc at NFC for the first time in six months. Des Patalong fooling around with his enormous jingle pole.( Matron!)  Craig Sunderland literally  letting his hair down. Welcome visits from many local musicians . It's always good to see local artistes support their local clubs. So it was heartening to see Warwickshire Folk Royalty like Max Wright, Jak Lynch, Kathryn Fear, Brian Philips, Bob Brooker, Lauren South  and a few more adding to our number. It turned out to be  a decent attendance.  At 7.30pm it was just Keith and I and the bar staff in the Queen's Hall, so it was so good to see the doors open and so many familiar faces coming in! 

   Nunc were not quite yet back  to full complement, as Harpo Jon Harrington had suffered a bereavement and was unable to attend. ( Hugs from us all, Jon). We opened both halves with a few songs, some of which we'd not rehearsed together for a while. My thanks to the members of the audience who said such nice things afterwards particularly about a  sensitive version of "Dark End Of The Street."  Here is a picture by Max Wright. Flossy and I are enjoying Paul's solo. 

    Des was in a mischievous mood. His version of "Nelson's Blood," a well known Shanty was both unique and very witty. I've heard variations a plenty of this shanty but a line that ran as a personal advert for his own CD was a new one to me. I'm not sure the verse that ran " A weasel down the trousers wouldn't do us any harm," was in the original song either. I detect the hand of Mr.Donnelly in that version. I guess you'd be keel-hauled on a merchantman bound for Tobago singing that variation.  

     As I said earlier, Craig literally let his hair down. He both played and sang really well. He always does. He sets himself such high standards and is commendably ambitious about what material he tackles. His vocal style and guitar technique really suits Nic Jones so his version of "Barrack Street" was particularly fine. Craig is one of the few artistes I know who can do the Great Man justice.  Nearly as good as the original-I can't pay him a higher compliment. 

      You seldom forget (or regret) spending an evening in the company of Keith Donnelly. There are plenty of people on the Folk circuit who fancy themselves as comedians, but most fall short when compared to Keith.  I have seen him in many guises and in assorted company. Solo, duetting with Flossie Malialeville. Fooling around with Bill Bates and many other folk artistes. I can even remember seeing him when he had hair. He would drop into The Bulls Head Folk Club Brinklow hosted by Black Parrot Seaside in the 1970s just to do a floor spot. He was obviously a good guitarist even then, in a time when we often had similar "drop-in" cameos from Mick Stuart, Dave Bennett, Kevin Dempsey and Rod Felton. Keith clearly also had stage presence, comic timing and a certain charisma which made him stand out.  Later he would return with Gilly Darby and Martyn Oram as the excellent trio Waterfall. His longevity on the Folk (and beyond) scene is legendary. But also well deserved. He was as good last night as I've ever seen him.            

      The quality of his comic material is such that it is genuinely difficult (without following him around the country) to distinguish between the unscripted ad libs and the regular patter. Falling (only just) short of a "routine," his stories anecdotes and asides are on a par with Max Boyce, Billy Connolly and Jasper Carrot. The latter is not surprising as Keith has written material for Jasper  and has acted as warm up man for his stage shows. I once saw Jasper complete an entire evening whilst essentially, performing only one song. He had a guitar with him throughout-but he just appeared to get side-tracked. No one complained and sides were aching as the audience left. He gave the appearance of it all being unscripted. it so obviously wasn't. 

He trod the boards at the nearby Abbey Theatre only recently playing the role of Danks the infamous murderer in Polly Button The Opera.  Looking uncannily like Tom Hanks at times, he treated us to a brilliant monologue about the labyrinthine innards of the late lamented Coventry Ikea. This brought back fond memories of being trapped in there for hours and for some it revived much darker memories of what those Swedish meatballs could do to an overworked digestive system.  (Danks? Hanks? Is there something going on here?).

Keith knows stagecraft. He used the Queen's Hall stage to the full last night especially with entrances and exits. And stomping about simulating his attempts to use the stairs to beat the Ikea elevators in that Coventry store. He also used props to great effect. The duck shaped microphone certainly, biu in particular the splitting guitar which disintegrated whilst he was playing it. ( He also reassembled it whilst playing both halves). He even used Des Patalong as a straight man, with a witty parody of "We Will Rock You." 

       He also managed to incorporate riffs and lyrics from a myriad of pop and folk songs we'd all known and loved into one medley. His narrative of how tangled up cassette tapes  mangled the recorded vocals despite most of us trying to reassemble them (unsuccessfully!)  by cutting the damaged bits out and  splicing them back together with selotape was pure Comic genius.  

   The best way to see all this entertaining lunacy is by catching one of his "Live" performances. But if you wanted the essence of Keith's wonderful sideways swipes at the music business, captured forever in playable form, I cannot recommend too highly his three disc album "Ghost Eiders In The Sky." In which every genre (and countless numbers of well loved artistes) take an affectionate but merciless ragging. Getting a whole audience to howl out the chorus of the title track as an encore by singing "Quack Quack Quack ," (rather than the "Yippee i Ay:  Yippe Ay O," of the original) is some feat. And symptomatic of the infectious madness which Keith can brew up. Especially as ( he correctly pointed out to us), The Eider does not actually quack but makes an effete mewing noise a bit like Frankie Howerd on Helium).  Honestly, he quacked us all up last night.  

    Thanks once again to Rich Burlingham for laying on freshly tapped draught Goats Milk from the nearby Church End brewery, and to the bar staff, especially Holly who was on her first night at The Crew. And to Russ,up there in The Gods, driving the sound. 

 

Beware the Ides of March

      There were counter attractions on in the town last night. So it is probably best  to be philosophical about the turnout in the Queen's Hall. It was by no means empty: there was still a respectable audience there which many Folk Clubs would envy. But with Live music on across Town at The Anker and a Sudden Impulse production of Blackadder opening at the nearby Abbey Theatre, all three venues were potentially competing for the same kind of audience. ( I'd certainly made enquiries beforehand about the other two, and until I realised they clashed with the night I'd be compering, I'd thought about going along to either/both).  

      On the plus side we had new faces in the audience there last night and some old ones returning after a long, long absence. (For perfectly understandable reasons). Polly Button's Great Great Great (etc) granddaughter was there again and so was my Cousin, John Hobson. We also had people travelling in from as far afield as Derby, Birmingham and Tamworth. Just imagine what we could achieve if a few more Nuneaton residents also supported their home town Folk Club!

        And what a line-up! another quality array of talent  on home turf. Headlined by the Legend that is Kevin Dempsey. At NFC we are at last gradually getting through a long queue of advertised Guests whom Coronavirus had prevented us from staging. The long closure had thwarted us fulfilling  their booked performances creating a backlog of cancelled and then rearranged gigs.  Our original attempts to host  Kevin's visit to NFC in 2021 failed but finally we put on his Covid-cancelled gig last night.

       We also pulled off a bit of a coup by inviting Harry Thorpe and Sean Morrison to join us for an extended 30 minute floor spot. They have a new album out next week and have been earning rave reviews from public performances locally. Prodigiously talented and disgustingly young, we'll be seeing them again soon. Details of their new  album will be available here soon.

     And to complete a stellar first half Steve and Julie Wigley accompanied by bassist Phil filled the final first half spot. They too have been prolific during various Lockdowns cumulating in the release of a seventh album "At the Passing of The Storm." I was able to blag a copy from them last night. I'll be playing tracks from it, and from Thorpe and Morrison on a future  Anker Folk show. Anyone wishing to buy this or previous albums can get in touch with Steve and Julie by email or via Facebook. 

     Nunc opened proceedings, as usual. Still alas in a truncated form, with only myself, Paul and Jon available, we continue to explore our Blues roots. After singing "Happy Birthday To You " to Paul we had to check he was fully recovered before proceeding. Seventy is a vulnerable age but he seemed in full voice and good spirits as he sang "Sitting On Top of The World," and his own composition "Mr Moonshine." That Muddy Waters standard "Standing Round Crying" was sandwiched in between. Jon Harpo Harrington blew hard on a dazzling array of instruments throughout including a couple of solos. No-one booed or threw anything so we were quite pleased with that.

          Steve and Julie we'd seen before, but Phil their bass player was a Nuneaton virgin and goodness knows there aren't many of them around nowadays. They treated us half an hour of mostly new material. This included Billy Ruffian (wordplay on HMS Bellerophon) and "At The Passing of The Storm," the hopeful title track of the same CD. Their albums are always beautifully presented and packaged with informative sleeve notes. Highly recommended.  

       We'd only heard rumours and seen video clips of Harry and Sean but my word they lived up to their reputation.  NFC regular Bob Brooker said, "Make a note of the names - THORPE & MORRISON - because they are going to be the headliners at clubs and festival across Britain, Europe and may be the States for many. many years to come,' when he caught them at The Wurzel Bush recently. That is praise indeed from such a talented musician. Sean is a product of Birmingham Conservatoire and had Joe Broughton as a mentor so no wonder he conjured such pyrotechnics from his fiddle. (Violin?) Harry coaxed similar magic from his Gibson.Together they were at times breathtakingly good. 

      You'd have to pretty outstanding to top that or even the high standard already achieved-but we are talking about Kevin Dempsey. Besides all the solo stuff he's done, his work with Dando Shaft, Whippersnapper and latterly Joe Broughton and Jacqui McShee means he is Folk Royalty in my book. Not just me, either. He got a relatively subdued audience hollering, clapping, thumping the tables and singing. (And that was before he'd started).  Nahh...just joking.  

         In his first half set he did two of my personal Dempsey favourites "All For You" and "Handsome Molly." I love watching people in an audience who have not seen him before react when he goes into the instrumental section of "All For You." The way he uses his palm or thumb on the guitar body as an additional instrument to beef out what is already a breath taking romp up and down the frets never fails to make mouths drop open. 

      Nunc opened the second half with Vigilante Man and a Jimmy Reed song "Shame Shame Shame. " Then it was time to hand the evening back to Kevin. Resurrection Jack and Lord Franklin were highlights. My good lady's favourite "Love is Just Around The Corner," is Kevin at his most tender and mellow. 

   The end-of-show encores did not have to be stage managed: the cries for them were genuine and enthusiastic. Kevin's first was an eye opener for some: his iconic arrangement of the Postman Pat Theme always takes some newbies by surprise. Boy did we all enjoy singing along to that! 

Once again our thanks to Ross for the sound, Aaron for his sterling work behind the bar and Jenna for additional work setting up. Also to Mags for organising the collection.  And to Rich Burlingham for loaning us the room and continuing to support local provenance by supplying Church End Ale on hand pulls.

 All photos here are by Ray Buckler. Paul Monks took some too. I guess they are all up on the NFC Facebook Group page? 

Bird in The Belly

       NFC re-opened in August 2021, after a long closure due to the Covid pandemic. Despite the massive improvements made to The Queens Hall during various lockdowns, audiences and performers are still understandably tentative about returning to live venues. Attendances at venues around the N.Warwickshire area have been down and slow to build back to those carefree days before Coronavirus darkened the world.

       Thanks to Mr. Zuckenberg having “improved” all our Stalkbook Groups by making them non-private, we now have 403 Nuneaton Folk Club members. ( Most of whom I’ve never met or seen). However, Wednesday night at NFC saw the biggest crowd since we reopened last August. That is a tribute to our loyal followers-the ones who we do see-and also an homage o the stature of the Guest Act, Bird In The Belly. 

         Their long awaited return to Nuneaton came after their initial re-booking had been cancelled and rescheduled several times. They were in fact, the last headliners to appear at NFC before that long, painful Lockdown closure. So there was a special significance in them being there again lon Wednesday. Almost two years on, they strode onto that massive stage and owned it. Not once but twice, in two beautifully assembled, carefully produced sets. Each packed with thoughtful songs which reflected not only the misery and despair of Victorian (and other) hard times but also our own. Who can doubt just how dark these last two years in the U.K. have been, except for the very rich, the privileged rulebreakers and those fortunate enough to be in the very best of health throughout? 

    BITB have established a Folk Noir genre in which they explore and research the archives of history and then share the outcomes with the rest of us. There always has been a darker side to Folk and Blues and Americana, indeed all the associated music styles we see at NFC. Alongside the  jolly Wassails, Morris Dancing and Hoedowns, there is misery and sorrow. "Matty Groves" isn't exactly a walk in the park, is it? 

         Nunc kicked off proceedings with their now traditional opener, Leroy Carr's “How Long Blues.” In which the wailing anti hero went down to the station seeking his lost Beloved, but did not even see a train. (Perhaps he was waiting for the erstwhile Nuneaton-Leamington Shuttle which has been more elusive than Lord Lucan since its reintroduction a few years ago?). “I went down to the Station/I didn’t see no train/Now in my heart I have an aching pain.” We ended with Steve Earle’s Copperhead Road which isn’t exactly a bunch of laughs either.

           Thrupp’nny Bits then did a 30 minute slot, lifting the mood a little with songs like the euphemistic Bold Sir John. But because they too research and hunt for songs which reflect struggle, suffering and change, there were also a few bleaker traditional songs in what was an excellent routine well up to their usual high standard.

              The last time we’d seen Glyn Finch was way back at NFC when we were based at The Crown. Various circumstances had delayed his return but he was not the least bit intimidated by the change in venues. Glyn protested that he was a little bit stage rusty but his eclectic choice of material, his imaginative guitar playing and remarkable vocal range tended to bely that. He arranges traditional material so that a unique version of “She Moved Through The Fair,” is followed by similarly adjusted renditions of “Nobody’s Fault But Mine,” and “Hard Times.” And of course (though he remains enigmatically modest about it) there is a unique version of “The Pink Panther Theme “ in his set that remains a once heard never forgotten experience. A few old Fogeys tutted in the darkness, but generally the juxtaposition of Glyn's contemporary approach and TB's more traditional one was both appreciated and understood. 

         Which led to part one of a step through Time with BITB. Ben and Laura combine their vocals beautifully. The Sunday Express (no less!) wrote recently of Ben’s voice “ If there is a more extraordinary voice on record than that of Ben Webb it will probably belong to a blues singer twice his age.” I could not put it better. Laura’s voice too is instantly recognisable: a hallmark of greatness. She has a style which can cover acapella or harmonies, capable of expressing deep deep melancholy and suffering, or fleeting elation. You could play me twenty different tracks by twenty different female vocalists and within a few bars I would be able to pick her her out immediately and say, “That’s Laura.”

     Between them (if you count Ben’s clacky wooden blocks, of which he is immensely proud!), there are at least 12 BITB instruments available on stage plus vocals. The variables and permutations are pretty well infinite.   Though based in Brighton, the band have roots that spread further afield.  Ben “Jinwoo” Webb is a home boy, reluctant to expand on exactly from where, but he is well familiar with the North Warwickshire and South Leicestershire area. Tom Pryor,  the multi instrumentalist engine room of BITB who  produces and engineers the band’s videos and albums is at home with the Derbyshire and Yorkshire hills and dales. Indeed the video he made to accompany for "Pale Horse" on the Internet, has scenes shot around Eyam in it. 

      BITB alas, will not always stay on this circuit forever. Whilst they do, we remain fortunate to have them. Musically accomplished, and now widely known, they will move on eventually to Festivals and Concert Halls if they want to. In a world where  Gigspanner, Merry Hell and Show of Hands are major attractions they will be able to compete. Despite this, they remain one of the most grounded bands I have ever met. (And I’ve met loads!). They are a joy to work with: approachable, friendly,  appreciative and sincere. None of this is sycophantic, rehearsed or feigned. They are four very nice people. I like them a lot. And their music. The audience did too.

      Their third album “After The City” is released later this month February 25^th to be precise. It can be pre-ordered and is available in CD format or as a download. Someone described it in print as “an uneasy, restless concept album.” I wouldn’t disagree with that. BITB make you work hard which is fair enough considering the immense amount of work they put into crafting their material.

       Finally, thanks to Rich for making it all happen, to Ross for the sound and to Aaron who not only served behind the bar but operated a waiter service, bringing some requested drinks up from the bar below! And wasn’t the Church End Goats Milk Lovely? Nectar! No wonder it’s won so many prizes!

Pinch Punch...

The first Wednesday being the 1st of December this month, last night's Nuneaton Folk Club  evening caught a few out.  And although no one had any stuffing and there were no turkeys on stage, there was still a faint Festive tinge to proceedings. Aptly the headline band for the month of the Winter Solstice were Greenman Rising, on home turf like our (fragmented) House Band Nunc. 

    Nunc had been reduced to a trio. With guitarist John Kearney and singer Flossy McDougal sidelined because of medical issues, Jon Geoff and Paul flew the flag. Paul's song "Mr Moonshine" started proceedings, Vigilante Man followed and Paul took the lead vocal again with a Doc Watson song "Sitting On Top of The World." We had a running order and a set list which we'd torn up and re-written several times beforehand. 

Right on schedule, Tyburn (Jan Richardson and Hedley) followed us up there. They are a Warwickshire outfit and no strangers to NFC. A loner floor spot gave them more of a chance to air some more of their interesting arrangements such as  "Little Wing" 

Sam Shemmell delayed by traffic, arrived just before proceedings began. After the briefest of soundchecks he was thrown straight on ( Though not in a literal sense. We'd had Sam doing a floor spot at our previous venue but for some of our audience his massively distinctive voice took them by surprise. With vocal projection like that he doesn't really need a P.A. He filled the room. His arrangement of "Caledonia" was particularly imaginative, showing the Dougie McClean song in a whole new light. 

The men (and women) of GMR put a lot of time into production and rehearsal. Exemplified with a very thorough Sound check beforehand and arrangements and adjustments still being made into the second half.  The vocal range is frankly, astonishing. When playing fully in synch they make an impressive sound. The array of instruments is at times dazzling. At one stage three separate forms of woodwind were being played by separate musicians. With melodeon, bazouki, two fiddles ,two guitars and of course Steve Bentley's compulsive drumming.  

Several  favourites from their 2017 album Devils and Doxies were aired. (Many of which we've played on Anker Folk). Bedlam Boys, Winter Winds  and The Bonny Ship The Diamond for example. Many of us have been looking forward to a new GMR album release for quite a while now. 2022 apparently, so not long to wait. Until then, get to see them when you can. They are spectacular and entertaining. Or as one excited audience member started whooping at the end of numbers towards the end of the second half, " Get In!" 

Our thanks go out again to Ross on Sound, Aaron behind the bar and to Rich Burlingham for ensuring the facilities were as safe and clean as possible and for continuing to supply thirsty Folkies with a supply of Church End Real Ale from just up the road. Boston Fat Boy on this occasion which was divine. 

Thanks also to Kevin Hargraves, John B.Smith and Jon Harrington for the photos reproduced here. 

    

Fandango Christmas

 

After the first street was covered, Roy swung Dorothy expertly into another. He switched the microphone back on and bellowed:

' Ladees and Gentlemen! We will shortly be entering Arsehole Avenue and then continuing on to Wankers Way'

' Roy! Come on! Keep it down, eh?' hissed Michael,' I've got to deliver letters round here again after Christmas! Think of the Customer tips, if nothing else!'

Roy lit another fag and watched from the cab as Michael fawned over the kindly old lady who had given him a ten bob note yesterday as a Christmas Box. Dorothy's engine burbled along on tick over as Roy kept her alive, dabbing the accelerator pedal rhythmically with his foot.

' Morning Mrs. Perry,' smiled Michael,' Isn't it a lovely day? '

' It is!' agreed Mrs. Perry.

' This looks like those lovely paper doilies you ordered! ' said Michael. 'Will you sign to say you've had the parcel for me, please?' Mrs Perry scrawled on Michael's forms.

' They said it's going to rain later on though,' she added.

' Oi!' screamed Roy, poking a head out of the coach window,' Get a bleedin' move on Scottie, you idle git! We've gotta be across at Testicle Terrace by ten o'clock!'

By the end of the day Michael was immune to Roy's banter, his filthy jokes and his continuing invention of dirty street names. In fact, he began inventing a few himself. By the end of the shift they had navigated Bollock Boulevard, Cunnilingus Crescent, Tittenham Court Road, Brassiere Broadway and Mammary Drive. Roy dropped him off after their third run, outside the Post Office. Michael swung the empty sacks over his shoulder, grabbed the paperwork and waved goodbye as Roy nursed Dorothy off towards the garage.

' I'll fix it!' shouted Roy, waving a victory sign out of the driver's window as he pulled away.

Roy never did fix all of Dorothy's ailments but he made a few improvements including quietening the engine and charging the battery. This was a mixed blessing as on colder days he would insist on having the heater on throughout. On one occasion a badly packaged consignment of Samroo’s Chocolate Reindeer and a dozen Advent Calendars melted and fused all over the back seat.

Roy livened up Dorothy's interior with strings of Christmas lights connected by crocodile clips to the battery. He also acquired a large farting Santa, who postured, danced and noisily broke wind whenever anyone entered or left the coach. He had somehow cleverly wired up the ancient coach radio to play “Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree” whenever Michael opened the (now mercifully operational) sliding door.

' A gadget from them Samroo Boys again,' Roy explained. ' Got some fabulous lines, they have.'

On each outing, Roy hurled Dorothy up and down precipitous slopes, backed her in and out of tight cul-de-sacs and eased her through the gaps between expensive parked cars. Michael watched through hands held over his eyes. At Michael's request Roy stopped hanging out of the window at traffic lights and shouting lewd unseasonal suggestions to passing lady shoppers. Some were old enough to be his Mum.

Roy was allocated Dorothy every day. Michael often wondered afterwards if he ever did really get “back on the Margate Run” with a filthy mind and potty mouth like that. They made a strangely efficient team however, and having finished early on Christmas Eve, not through skiving, but because they had delivered all their parcels more efficiently than any other crew, they clocked off and shared a few beers around the corner from the Post Office. True to his word Mr. Harrison had conjured up what he termed “a little bonus” to acknowledge what had genuinely been all their hard work. Roy gave Michael a final lift home.

'Here we are then! Tampax Towers', he said.   He offered Michael his gloved hand.  ' It's been all right, though, ain't it? It's been a great laugh! I've really enjoyed it and thanks to you I've made a few extra bob.' He laughed, as a look of fleeting concern swept across Michael's face.

'No, not like that though, you prune! I never nicked a single thing! And that, trust me, mate is a first! I had a bit extra in me pay packet, what with the bonuses and getting extra shifts and all that. And there is a lesson for us both.'

' How come?'

' If you're having a good time together, work's just about bearable, ain't it? Eh?'

Michael shook Roy's outstretched hand.

' Merry Christmas, Roy. You're a nutcase.'

' Likewise, you tart. And if you're ever over Lewisham way, just look me up. You got my address, entcha?'

Michael shook his head, doubtfully. Roy handed over a crumpled Christmas card.

' You can read, can't yer? Educated kid like you?'

' Yep. I see it. “69 Gonad Grove”. Cheers. Roy!'

Dorothy and Roy rumbled off through the estate and into the darkness leaving a vile-smelling gaseous orange fug swirling about the base of the flats. Michael picked up an armful of carrier bags and headed for the lifts.

Overcoming hurdles at NFC

 Apologies for the lateness of this review. but to say that last Wednesday was a little challenging is an understatement. And things have remained a little chaotic ever since. We were up against it beforehand with one thing and another. John Richards had to make adjustments to his usual line-up as he had a damaged shoulder and his daughter Emma was poorly. Emily got lost on the way in: at one stage I was talking her in on JR's mobile! Unfortunately the evening started a little late too, so we were playing catch up from the beginning.  

     Nunc were without Flossy and Paul Moore was visibly poorly.  John Kearney was picking up the guitar on stage again for the first time since making minor adjustments to a picking finger with a chopping knife last month. Craig Sunderland had been a little peaky too, and was still recovering from an attack of the vapours after having spent the day up a scaffolding tower. (Don't ask).  None of these afflictions were  Covid related however: we had all done lateral flow tests before setting out for the venue. Photo below by Ray Buckler. 

      Nunc were fine: in fact they sounded rather good as How Long Blues, Vigilante Man and Copperhead Road were dashed off with great aplomb. Our Sound (very sound) man Ross had spent ages getting the JRB set up but within seconds I had wrought havoc on the mike intended for Jim. It flopped in a way I found quite disturbing-so much so that I had to cling on to it through our first slot to prevent total erectile dysfunction setting in. Later I'm glad to say that it was re-erected. (Ooh Matron!). 

 When Nunc finished we left JK up there to have a bash at some of the songs he was planning to air last month. (Before he'd sliced his finger). There was a wistful feel to them (as their often is with Kearney compositions) and none better than "Agincourt To Abbeville" especially poignant at this time of year, when we remember The Fallen. All of them. Photo below by John B.Smith. 

Up next came Bob Brooker and Craig Sunderland, sharing the first half hour slot. Bob was in exemplary form and treated us to a pair of his own songs,"Seven days" and "Coming Home,"  before Craig joined him for a rousing instrumental.

 Craig then added a frenetic version of "John Barleycorn," picking and singing it at a speed which was truly remarkable. 

The shoulder injury to John Richards gave us all the opportunity to enjoy an NFC debut from Gren Bartley. Later Gren would join the JRB and become JR's guitar sound. But his own solo spot was most enjoyable. A talented songwriter and a good guitarist-he filled the half hour and kept the audience focussed. I think he sold a few albums later too-well deserved. I certainly bought one-his stuff is available on Bandcamp. I recommend it highly. 

So the JRB had needed to make quite a few adjustments but although they later claimed to have made mistakes and had been a little apprehensive, nerves weren't evident as they launched into a first half full of old favourites and newer material. John, his songs and his band(s) have earned a reputation in all our local clubs and once more they did not disappoint.

The interval came and went. Nunc shaved a few minutes off the second half by doing two instead of three-"Bring It On Home" and Three Little Birds/Wild Rover, to warm up, before The John Richards Band returned to close the evening.

Things were going swimmingly. I was enjoying my pint of Church End Boston Fat Boy immensely and singing along nostalgically to classics like "Polly"  and "If you can Sing You Can Dance." Then our phones went, (on silent, obviously) and we were summoned away on an emergency: a mercy  mission to take my (very) pregnant daughter to A. and E.  (An old war wound: knee locked and she was immediately absolutely immobile). 

So I have no idea how the evening ended, although I have no doubt JRB got a rapturous encore and "Shine On," was sung particularly beautifully by the audience and JR combined. I was especially miffed about missing that one. It's one of my favourite songs and I could look to the optimism of those lyrics sometimes when life gets a little dark. John Kearney took over as compere and I bet he was brilliant, wrapping things up. It was past 2am when we got home. A. & E. were not much use and daughter had to spend another seven hours in there later that same Thursday morning. 

The hoodoo did not end there. It was great to see John B. Smith back again, recording video and still shots from his perch in the auditorium. We were all looking forward to enjoying them again later, as JBS posts them on the NFC Facebook page afterwards and send links to all artistes featured. Indeed, a few of us got a glimpse of them until a mortified JBS confessed to having inadvertently wiped the video content accidentally whilst transferring. Never mind: his photos are available for all to see. 

Once again I am indebted to all the performers and to Ross for engineering them so expertly. Rich Burlingham had got not one but TWO Church End beers on. So not only is he providing us all with a cracking venue, he is promoting local Breweries whilst slaking Folkie thirst. Aaron, behind the bar, was charming, polite and attentive. As he always is.