LAST NIGHT'S BEDWORTH FOLK FESTIVAL FUND RAISER
BEDWORTH R.F.C.
Over the years, we've tried to mellow, as you can see from a Zama Records Company Promo photo (above). We've tried to introduce more traditional Folk songs and some Blues, into our act. However. There's no getting away from it: some people genuinely seem to like us mucking about a bit a lot-both lyrically and otherwise. Club organiser Malc Gurnham certainly built up expectations beforehand, with his imaginative titling of this event . So we disciplined ourselves to splitting the evening between us and our good friend Bill Bates. And agreeing to do only erm, (intentionally!) "humourous material."
I was really psyched-up beforehand. The local paper had billed the Live Music attractions available that evening as: Muse, The Specials, Bill Bates and Black Parrot Seaside and The Moscow State Symphony Orchestra. Exalted company eh? Bet Muse don't get that every day! My heart leapt as I arrived. The Rugby Club Car park was totally full. Wow! Had they all read the advertising, and come to see us, because the Ricoh was full? No. They'd come to see the model car racing next door. Oh well.
We began a night of three halves with a mix of excellent floor spots. Malc and Gil, Dave Fry and Maria Barham, a debut from the Robinson-Stone Brothers, and a rare outing for Phil Benson. Dave, bless him, had been unprepared for the slightly nutty theme, but to make him feel at home, we laughed at him anyway .Firstly for forgetting that in the first place and secondly when he suddenly realised that he'd been playing with what appeared to be a business card (found in a telephone booth?) inserted behind the strings on the neck of his Guild. I'd wrongly assumed that this was some new economy capo, intended to dampen the sound.
Maria had arrived clearly (and as always!) ready to enjoy herself. Gil's desperate attempts to get a photo of Maria windmilling her guitar about were also amusing. Through her second number, Maria created such a downdraught that an entire stack of Chester Folk Festival leaflets tumbled one by one and rather eerily, to the floor. (It was probably a poltergeist, so I'm not going there). The debutantes played three thoughtful and musical numbers including an Eagles cover,using the interesting combination of guitar and electric keyboard. Phil delivered an enormously long anecdotal song about a marathon pub crawl. I'd heard someone do it a few weeks ago somewhere else. The chorus, which grows longer by the verse, remained utterly unfathomable to me.
The second half began with Bill delivering some of his own songs. I have to say that one or two of them every one was quite rude. Bill is a fine guitarist, a great raconteur and a writer of songs which just pack in the jokes. (He told me to say that). He starts quite a few of them with " I knew a girl called Rita,". Or Cheryl. Or Susan. Or whatever. He was once in Hi De Hi. Or a Butlin's Redcoat. Or something. I was very disappointed to find that, although he sang his infamous Chocolate Bar Song, there were no free samples available,as previously. Obviously Santander are tightening the screw on him. Thank God he hasn't (yet?) written a song about prophylactics
A difficult act to follow,then. Arnold had been riding the Duchess of Hamilton earlier that afternoon. Apparently,with a tender behind, and a full head of steam up, she'd got quite hot whilst he was doing so. Possibly why he was certainly looking quite dishevelled when he arrived (late!) from Nuneaton Station. We wobbled (rather than launched) our first set with our first* single- "The Whistler." (*Our only single.) Joe always likes to tell us at this point that he picked the single up for 75p in a Charity shop. I like to reply that I was offered £150 for one by a collector last year. That makes him go quiet. (Though not for very long). I had distributed a bag of whistles, tooters and squeaky dog toys just before commencing, in the hope of recreating the atmosphere on that legendary You Tube clip of " The Whistler,"at a BFC Christmas Party in 2007. Oh you know...the one where Norman Wheatley is wearing a pair of antlers....
"Cockney Power" then followed,with the audience gamely attempting the convoluted chorus. This was to be one of our three Cosmotheka-inspired numbers, so we felt it apt to follow up with a debut number. Our version of "Houses in Between." Which owed more to Al and Dave Sealey than Gus Elen. However, there were some "technical" problems, and so we scrapped that hurriedly bringing forward "The Odeon." Another popular chorus song. By this time, Joe, perhaps disturbed by not having a floor spot, became more exciteable than I'd ever seen him. Even at the Boro' Play-Off Final he wasn't this animated. Whatever he's on, I want some of it. We concluded the second half with our homage to all Folk Clubs everywhere-"At The Septic Monkey." That got lots of laughs. Most of which we'd intended to happen.
Our mock raffle concluding this gentle parody caused some confusion. Especially as the real raffle followed, and at one stage there were two separate sets of tickets flying about. Maria kept her " We Love Our Westie " 2012 Annual, but Bill wisely left behind his copy of "Thin Bitch in The Kitchen." Although I try hard to make our raffle prizes so unpleasant they are unkeepable, several happy punters took them home. Always gratifying, that. Some kept their whistles,too. Though Dave Fry kindly returned his squeaky adjustable wrench.
After another break, and a sensible raffle draw, we were tasked with starting the final half of three thirds. Bill would conclude the evening. Malc kindly re-introduced us by recalling a conversation he'd had with local radio's Keith Wedgbury earlier in the day. " Black Parrot Seaside," Keith had exclaimed," Gosh! They are so slick, aren't they?" Got the biggest laugh of the evening. Thanks for that, Malc! (Or was it "sick"?) Anyway, keep taking the tablets, Keith.
"The Bold Pirate," went well, with further excellent audience participation. Must admit, Rugby Club audiences can be lively, but I've rarely seen a Beduff audience quite so animated as this. What a crowd! "Albert Balls" followed, and by now Joe was not alone in looking as if he might not last the evening. (He knows the words better than we do, which is always useful). Arnold got a little carried away with his Duck Walks, Angus Young impressions and exotic guitar licks During this number,he makes The Ramones seem tame when he's in the mood. The extended re-mix of "On Bedworth Bank," was received well. (Obviously, no-one in from Rugby, Kenilworth, Warwick Stratford, Leamington or Atherstone).
"The Bold Pirate," went well, with further excellent audience participation. Must admit, Rugby Club audiences can be lively, but I've rarely seen a Beduff audience quite so animated as this. What a crowd! "Albert Balls" followed, and by now Joe was not alone in looking as if he might not last the evening. (He knows the words better than we do, which is always useful). Arnold got a little carried away with his Duck Walks, Angus Young impressions and exotic guitar licks During this number,he makes The Ramones seem tame when he's in the mood. The extended re-mix of "On Bedworth Bank," was received well. (Obviously, no-one in from Rugby, Kenilworth, Warwick Stratford, Leamington or Atherstone).
"What a Folking Liberty!" seemed a somehow appropriate way for us to finish our contribution. Soon it was time for a rather more genteel (but still quite rude) Bill Bates to bring back a little decorum. ( He's always had a little decorum, Bill-he told us). Then. as a final, final encore, both of us led The Company in a rousing version of the B-side of our first* single-"I am a Vacuum Cleaner With the Brain of a Bird." Featuring a guitar duel at the end where neither Bill nor Arnold would accept the finishing flourish. Epically sung, with some good gospel work in the Acapella Section.
Does this make Bill, as with Dave Parr, Malc Gurnham, Pete Willow, Keith Donnelly,Jon Harrington et al, an honorary Parrot, now? Sadly, Bill, I think it does.
Were people singing especially enthusiastically? Or just eager for us to let them go home? You see what you miss, folks, when you leave early? Tsk!
